Birthday Wish

Tomorrow ladybug turns 7. It's unbelievable what these 7 whole years have held. So much happiness and so much sorrow. I keep remembering the 9 months that led up to her birth. I took a pregnancy test on December 31st, 2001. I couldn't believe it was positive! I had a feeling but I kept thinking something was going wrong. I felt fine and I had been so sick when I was pregnant with A. J. it just didn't seem right. We used to go to church back then and that morning I prayed that I would get to know this baby, I asked God if I could have her for an hour. I was also convinced it was a girl. I remember I felt like I was making a deal with God. I kept thinking your not supposed to ask God for anything, but I did anyway.

The months rolled by and I never shook that feeling that something wasn't right. I was shocked when she was born and she breathed. She was beautiful all pink, red and she stared up at me. Julia didn't cry she just looked like " Oh, mom there you are." I held her for a long time on my stomach. She had just slid into the world and it was unbelievable. She was so quiet and just laid there looking up with her wide brown eyes, my sweet little ladybug girl. After a few days I just figured I must have been wrong, she was fine, born, breathing and here with us at home. We noticed the cafe au lait right away. It was on her left arm from the moment she arrived. For a few years our doctor would count her "polka dots" every time we went for a check. He kept telling me not to worry, until there were too many.

Now it's 7 years later. Lucky 7, I hope. I hope this year there's a breakthrough. I hope this is the year they figure out a drug that stops tumors from growing. That's my wish for this year for my girl, may she get the only thing we all need, a cure.