Equality...or lack of...

There's just no way to have a house full of children and treat each one exactly equal. I'm finding it impossible. Especially since Julia has NF and I suspect every house with a child with any special need, its impossible. I certainly love them equally! It just seems that Julia and Julia's needs far exceed the other 3 kids 90% of the time. That's just how the chips fall around here. I keep thinking that A.J. probably has the hardest time adjusting. He had a whole life before she was diagnosed just like us. A.J. was 7 when NF entered our world. Our lives completely changed after she was diagnosed. It's like we were all reborn with NF. My little 2 will never know what it was like not to have Julia having NF, there is no before for them. Jacqueline was 11 months old when Julia was diagnosed and Alex was born the year after.

I will always wonder what they would have been like if Julia was healthy. I will always grieve this diagnosis and what it has done to us. I do know that because of NF my children all have an acceptance of people that some adults don't have. I hope 3 siblings is enough support for Julia as she grows up. I hope my fantastic 4 can deal with all that this life brings them. Anthony has been home all summer and will be working much less than he ever has in his life. It's been a really great family summer for us. The kids have had the benefit of 2 stay at home parents for 10 weeks and during this time we really tried to give them all the attention they deserve. We went to the beach, swam in the pool, rode bikes, ate ice cream and made smores. It felt like we were living in another decade for this summer, a slower time for us. We all talked a lot! I'm so grateful for this past summer, a season where we regrouped and became a stronger six pack. It was just what we needed- thank you recession!